What is the best monologue ever?

Film, Theater, Books, or Epic Poems.

Please paste the monologue in your post.

One of my faves, from Fight Club:

"I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived -- an entire generation pumping gas and waiting tables; or they're slaves with white collars. Advertisements have them chasing cars and clothes, working jobs they hate so they can buy **** they don't need. We are the middle children of history, with no purpose or place. We have no great war, or great depression. The great war is a spiritual war. The great depression is our lives. We were raised by television to believe that we'd be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars -- but we won't. And we're learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed-off." - Tyler Durden

What is the best monologue ever?say yes

Bill Murray in Stripes

What the hell's the matter with you?

Stupid!

We're all very different people.

We're not Watusi.

We're not Spartans.

We're Americans.

With a capital A, huh?

You know what that means?

Do you? That means that our forefathers...were kicked out of every

decent country in the world.

We are the wretched refuse.

We're the underdog.

We're mutts.

- Here's proof. His nose is cold.

But there's no animal

that's more faithful...that's more loyal, more loveable than the mutt.

Who saw Old Yeller?

Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end?

Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot?

I cried my eyes out.

So we're all dogfaces.

We're all very, very different.

But there is one thing that we all have in common.

We were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army.

We're mutants.

There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us.

Something seriously wrong with us.

We're soldiers, but we're American soldiers.

We've been kicking *** for 200 years!

We're 10 and 1!

Now we don't have to worry...

...about whether or not

we've practiced.

We don't have to worry...about whether Captain Stillman wants to have us hung.

All we have to do...is to be the great American fighting soldier...that is inside each one of us.

Now, do what I do...

...and say what I say...

...and make me proud.

- Fall in!

What is the best monologue ever?palace theatre opera theater

What's the matter little boy? You can't create on your own? You need to use somebody else's material?
The ones that you write.
The one you sent me in an email....
Crash Davis in Bull Durham:

Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Goodnight.